Episode Transcript
[00:00:15] Speaker A: Catch us the little foxes.
They're feasting on our own.
They're cruel.
Hey. Hey there.
[00:00:27] Speaker B: Hello, everyone.
How are you?
[00:00:29] Speaker A: I know that everybody missed us.
[00:00:31] Speaker B: We did.
[00:00:31] Speaker A: Oh, by the way, I'm Shannon.
I'm Michael and this is the marriage podcast.
Don't. Please don't jump off.
[00:00:44] Speaker B: I hope everyone is having a blessed day.
[00:00:47] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:00:47] Speaker B: We're recording this on Sunday after church.
[00:00:50] Speaker A: After church. Which is probably the best time to do it.
[00:00:53] Speaker B: This is the best time because you already failed with the spirit.
[00:00:58] Speaker A: Yeah. As opposed to like a Thursday or Friday night when maybe you had a really bad week and you come in here and say things that are probably not.
[00:01:05] Speaker B: Man, Friday night got so wild. We didn't get home till like almost one. Speaking of, we were so tired.
[00:01:11] Speaker A: Yes, we have had a great weekend, but it's been jam packed with, I would say, like really good stuff though.
[00:01:17] Speaker B: Yeah. We kept the grand boy yesterday. That was fun.
[00:01:21] Speaker A: Yeah. And then Friday night we went to a prayer. It was supposed to be a 24 hour prayer thing, but we couldn't hang, we're too old. So we just stayed about four hours.
[00:01:31] Speaker B: We're in bed by 5:30, 6:00 clock every day.
[00:01:33] Speaker A: Yeah. And we just prayed with some other people, did some worship and it was just really refreshing. And it's like that first hour though, you feel kind of dumb and you're like, what am I, what are we doing here?
[00:01:46] Speaker B: Right, right, right. Man, you know, it's so awkward there at first, you know, and then God told me to just start praying and keep my mouth shut.
[00:01:57] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:01:57] Speaker B: Like, all right. Lord, you're. Man.
[00:01:59] Speaker A: I know. And I was joking with you because I'm like, you're. You're officially part of the cult. That you ever think you would be part of the cult.
[00:02:06] Speaker B: Never been much of a cult person before, you know, I kind of try to stand on my own.
[00:02:11] Speaker A: Yeah. The spirit filled cult.
[00:02:12] Speaker B: Spirit filled cult.
[00:02:14] Speaker A: Anyways, we are going to talk this week about, I think something really fun.
[00:02:21] Speaker B: Yeah. I think the podcast, the first four episodes have been really five. Wow. We're on number six.
I think that. I think that the first five episodes were just kind of heavy with thou shalt and thou should and tears and emotion. I think this time we ought to bring it up a little bit. Just talking about fun.
[00:02:40] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. This is, this is all about, you know, laugh, love and play. Why your marriage needs more fun.
Seriously.
[00:02:49] Speaker B: That's right. Yeah. Need more fun in your marriage. If you have a marriage that is always just serious and business related, then you Kind of lose that flame a little bit. You know, marriage kind of. It builds up your endorphins. It makes you.
Laughter makes the heart ponder too. And it really helps you to become one is a couple.
[00:03:09] Speaker A: I think it's healing. Laughter is like medicine. I think that's the scripture.
[00:03:13] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:03:14] Speaker A: It's like medicine to our bones.
[00:03:17] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:03:17] Speaker A: And I think one of the things that is a complete epidemic in our culture is married people do not laugh enough. They do not have fun. Like their. Their whole life is about getting kids ready for school or, you know, or paying bills or whatever it might be in your life right now, even when your kids are grown. And then you reach an age where it's like, okay, I've got grandkids, or maybe you've got aging parents that you have to take care of. And it can become really like just a situation where you never have time, it feels like, to enjoy your life.
[00:03:56] Speaker B: Right. Have you ever been around that couple that literally sucks the life out of the room because they don't know how to have fun? Well, don't be that couple. Have fun for fun sake. Because According to Ecclesiastes 3:13, everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all of his toil, because that is God's gift to man. God designed us for joy. He didn't design us to be serious all the time. Yeah, the famous Beatles song, I can't remember what song that they put out after everything turned, turn.
And he said, there's a time and enjoy for joy and there's a time for, you know, sadness.
[00:04:31] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, that's what Ecclesiastes chapter 3 is about. Talking about the time for this, the time to that.
[00:04:37] Speaker B: Oh, is that what it is?
[00:04:38] Speaker A: Yeah, that's actually.
No, it's Ecclesiastes. And so he's talking about how there's a time for everything. But then he says in verse nine, leading up to what you just read, what do people really get for all their hard work? I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful for its time. He has planted eternity in the human heart. But even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end. So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can.
[00:05:10] Speaker B: That's right.
[00:05:11] Speaker A: People should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.
[00:05:16] Speaker B: That's right.
Right.
I don't drink, but because I liked it too much for a while and I chose to cut it off for my life because I was having just. It became a habit. It wasn't an addiction yet, but it was becoming a habit.
But I remember my younger days, whenever I was in the military and those guys were hanging out, that we would get together and we would laugh, we would joke around.
There's always some kind of food or beverage involved, especially on NASCAR Sunday. NASCAR Sunday was our thing.
[00:05:52] Speaker A: Yeah. And I mean, it doesn't have to be alcohol involved.
[00:05:55] Speaker B: Does not have a good time.
[00:05:56] Speaker A: But I think the point is what, what he's saying is you're. There's. Yes, your life is, Is going to be full of work, but there's nothing better than to actually enjoy your life to some degree and that God wants you to reap the rewards of all your hard labor. Like enjoy your. Watch your husband, enjoy your kids. They're not little forever, you know, go.
[00:06:19] Speaker B: On those small trips with each other. Forget about work, forget about, forget about everything. Just. Just focus on just having fun.
[00:06:26] Speaker A: Put your marriage in, in a really high priority. I mean, and I think a lot of people, here's what they do, they go, maybe they are Christians, so they'll put God first, but then they'll put their kids above their spouse as far as like, oh, that relationship. Right.
[00:06:45] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:06:45] Speaker A: And so I think that. And then when the kids grow up, there's no marriage left because it was never really cultivated.
[00:06:54] Speaker B: Divorce after the kids are out of the house because they don't know. They don't know how to communicate proof of that. Yeah.
[00:07:00] Speaker A: And, you know, not cultivating your relationship, part of cultivating it and developing it is having fun together, for crying out loud. So we thought, let's talk about that because I think for us, this was one thing we were lacking. We've talked about that in several episodes. How our life became about money all the time or lack of money.
[00:07:21] Speaker B: Well, I think that's 90% of America today is that things are so tough out there.
Gas actually came down 30 cents. So I mean, that's one less thing we have to worry about, is paying for that. But groceries are still high.
Daycare, Gosh, have you seen the price? Have you heard about the prices of daycare?
[00:07:39] Speaker A: I can't even imagine.
[00:07:40] Speaker B: It is like, it's way more than I would ever.
[00:07:43] Speaker A: Right.
[00:07:44] Speaker B: But you know, gas, fuel, electricity and all that, it's so exciting.
[00:07:48] Speaker A: For crying out loud.
[00:07:49] Speaker B: Food. Yeah.
[00:07:51] Speaker A: I mean, you can't go out to eat for less than a hundred dollars. Now you can have kids.
[00:07:56] Speaker B: That's exactly right.
And I think that kind of hits into A family's free time because, you know, kids love to. You gotta do kid things when you have kids. Kids, on family night, you know, go to movies or take a long. Everybody go out to eat and have a good time. Now there is a place. They do make some great board games.
[00:08:13] Speaker A: That you do as a family. You know, one of my favorite memories was we were going to talk about, like, things that are fun that we've done together. But one of my favorite memories, because you brought up games, was when we went to Arkansas. I don't. I don't think you and I were married yet. This was right before we married. The Mexican train domino thing. We had so much fun and we.
Allie and Dre, our daughter and son in law came. This is before they had kids. They were. I think they were newly married, right?
[00:08:42] Speaker B: Yeah. She wasn't there to have fun playing Mexican.
[00:08:45] Speaker A: Yeah. Listen. And then my parents were there and they were like super nice and calm. But the rest of us, once we spent. You were calm, but the rest of us, once we started playing, well, it didn't do me any good to get.
[00:08:55] Speaker B: Worked up because I didn't know what I was doing.
[00:08:57] Speaker A: Everybody's a sore loser.
[00:08:58] Speaker B: I was just like, fine, I'll do that.
[00:09:00] Speaker A: But it was so much fun. And I was thinking, this costs nothing.
[00:09:04] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:09:04] Speaker A: Like, this cost nothing.
[00:09:05] Speaker B: And it makes memories that you can remember forever. You know, you sit at that same table or you'll see that same group of people, you know, you remember we played Mexican.
[00:09:13] Speaker A: Actually, now that you mentioned that before my grandparents passed, my papa died before my grandmother. But when they were still both here, Melanie, my sister, had invited us over and we played dominoes with them.
[00:09:26] Speaker B: Oh, that's cool.
[00:09:26] Speaker A: And I have that memory and I just. I just think that's something important to do things like that as a couple, but also like with your kids and your grandparents and do do things that matter that you can actually like, you can take that memory into eternity with you.
[00:09:40] Speaker B: That's right. And you can make the best of any situation, even if it's something that you're not interested in, still putting the effort into it to have fun, because somebody. That somebody in that group is going to have doing it. So make a good memory out of it, because you don't get that memory back. You know, I think time is a good and a bad thing, but the past is. You can't go back and fix it. So enjoy it while you can.
[00:10:05] Speaker A: Yeah. So speaking of stories, do you want to tell us?
[00:10:09] Speaker B: Are you sure you want me to.
[00:10:10] Speaker A: Tell this story we mentioned. We alluded to this last week. And they're probably like, what are you talking about? The vine snake thing?
[00:10:16] Speaker B: Do I need to go back to the beginning before we met and how.
[00:10:19] Speaker A: You sure throw me under the bus, man. Just do it.
[00:10:23] Speaker B: Okay, so my wife and I, we met on an Internet dating site.
Can I go ahead and say the side, I guess?
[00:10:28] Speaker A: Sure.
[00:10:29] Speaker B: Give them a shout out. Yeah, I give a shout out to match.com.
we both met the night we were going to get off of there.
[00:10:36] Speaker A: I had just got on there.
[00:10:37] Speaker B: Oh, that's right, you had. I was fixing to close it out, man, and then she.
She popped up on my. Hey. You know.
[00:10:44] Speaker A: And he was like, oh, my gosh, I can't live without her.
[00:10:46] Speaker B: That's exactly what it was. That's right.
So. So we meet, we date, and, you know, we have fun. You know, I go to her house and we go out, have a good time before we get married.
Well, we got married.
[00:10:58] Speaker A: Yeah, but you gotta tell them what the profile said.
[00:11:00] Speaker B: Oh, the.
Oh, gosh, your profile was so full of false.
[00:11:06] Speaker A: No, it was just one thing was false. Just one.
[00:11:10] Speaker B: Like, I love the outdoors.
[00:11:12] Speaker A: That's the only thing that wasn't true.
[00:11:13] Speaker B: Working outside.
I love working in the yard. I love.
I love to do all this stuff.
So I'm thinking, hey, man. Because, you know, I'm an athletic guy, you know, all the time I spent in the military, I love being outdoors. I like to get the natural vitamins that you get from the sun.
And I'm like, hey, I got it. I finally got someone who could go out and hang out with me and, you know, like, hey, let's go kayaking. Sure, honey, I'll go with you. Kayaking, you know, stuff like that. And I'm like, okay, cool. So we start talking and we met.
[00:11:49] Speaker A: And by the way, I didn't say all those things. The only thing I did say besides how much I love Jesus. And I think I put. Maybe I could work out.
[00:11:55] Speaker B: No, you didn't say you loved you. You said you were a Jesus fanatic.
[00:11:57] Speaker A: Yeah, it was like he almost did. He almost walked away because of that. Anyway, I said that I like the outdoors, and I do. I do like it. I'm just scared of it.
[00:12:06] Speaker B: You just like the outdoors from behind the glass window?
[00:12:09] Speaker A: Yes, I like to look at pictures.
[00:12:11] Speaker B: So we're talking, you know, and like, yes, he like to hike and stuff like that. Because the first date. The first date's always awkward, you know, but then once you get comfortable with Each other. We start talking. I think we talked, actually talk to each other on the second date.
And we're there and we're talking, like the things we like to do. Oh, yeah, I love doing all that stuff. My family has a cabin in Mena, Arkansas, and we have a couple of side by sides. We go right out on the Ouachita Trail and all these mountain riding courses. I'm like, man, I have got me a mountain woman.
I have got the woman of my dreams.
We got married and it all started falling apart.
So we get married and we actually go up to the cabin there in Arkansas. It's in Mena. Shout out to Mena, Arkansas as well.
We go there and we're talking about what do we want to do? So we knew we wanted to go on and do a massage in Hot Springs, stuff like that. Is that when we went there or was that later on?
[00:13:09] Speaker A: No, that was that week. But the first few days we were in, so.
[00:13:13] Speaker B: The first few days. Yeah, so the first few days. Okay, first of all, we didn't have an off road vehicle. We had a car.
[00:13:19] Speaker A: Yeah.
Two cars.
[00:13:21] Speaker B: What kind of car was that? You had a little Volkswagen Passat. A Volkswagen Passat. It is not an off road vehicle. Well, during that week, it became one.
And we rode up to this place up in the Ouachita mountains. It was. Was. It wasn't Brady Mountain.
[00:13:36] Speaker A: I can't remember the name of that mountain.
[00:13:37] Speaker B: I can't remember the name of the mountain.
But it's a trail there, and the entire trail is like 48 miles long.
Well, it was hot. I mean, it was already August. It was August. You know anything about August? Texas. Was it September?
[00:13:51] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:13:51] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:13:52] Speaker A: It was delayed. Yeah.
[00:13:53] Speaker B: Yeah. So we got married in August, took our honeymoon in September, and. And we're up there and, you know, we're having a great time. We're being a newlywed couple, obviously, and. And have to eat. We're sitting around doing, you know, whatever the cabin.
So one day she's like, what do you want to do today? I said, well, I would like to go hiking. And she kind of looked at me for a second. She said, okay, okay, okay. I'm like, wait a minute, you're a mountain woman. You should be more than ecstatic about this. I think the first thing she was getting away is you didn't have any hiking boots.
You had no hiking boots. You know, like, you know, we got all this.
[00:14:27] Speaker A: Do you need those?
[00:14:28] Speaker B: Like you need a backpack? Yeah. Carry hydration and food and all this stuff, you know, and so we take this poor car. God almighty. That drive in the mountains, that road was not if. You know the thing about Volkswagen sites, they ride like 2 inches off the ground. It was amazing. We didn't bust the oil pan getting up there.
So we get out of the car and I got my backpack on and I got the water, and we start walking. And at first. Okay, so that part of the Ouachita Trail, that's not the difference. Brady Mountain, that's not it. Anyway, so is it Eagle something? Eagle's Point.
I can't remember. Maybe Eagles Pass?
[00:15:11] Speaker A: No, no. Buckeye or something.
[00:15:13] Speaker B: Buckeye. The Buckeye Trail. Yes, it's the Buckeye Trail in Mena, Arkansas. All you outdoor guys could appreciate that.
So it used to be an old mining road, and you can see some of the test pits that they dug walking up through there. So for the first, what, 20 minute, 30 minute, it was pretty good.
[00:15:29] Speaker A: It was overgrown.
[00:15:30] Speaker B: Yeah, well, the first. The first few bit of it was a road, and it was wide enough where you could walk. It is a gradual incline. I'm like, oh, yeah, we got this. This is easy stuff for two people who love the mountains. I was like, we got this lit, right?
It's around that time Shannon was very fit. She's working out all the time, gym, you know me, I was fit. I was in the gym all the time. And things were going well.
So things started falling apart whenever we got to it, where it was overgrown.
And when I'm saying it's overgrown, it hadn't been maintained in years. I mean, you could barely see the trail.
And we got to this one point where the hill, it went to an incline pretty quickly with a very steep incline.
And I started noticing that Shannon didn't start complaining at first. She was having a good time.
And then the more that we were on this trail, the more she complained and the more she was not happy with the situation. And I'm like, what's going on with you? She's like, I don't like this. And I understood because it was a little bit overgrown. But if you know any man out there, he likes to push forward.
So I push forward. We go to the top of this hill, and all of a sudden, Shanna, she slips down.
She slips down on the ground and she starts screaming, I'm on a snake. I'm on a snake. I'm on a snake.
[00:16:54] Speaker A: Oh, I said, there's a snake.
[00:16:56] Speaker B: There's a snake wrapped around my legs. It's wrapped around my leg, and I'm trying in my nicest most calm voice, like, okay, just calm down and let me go look and see what I got.
And it's a sticker vine. It's just a vine. And she's like, it's a snake. Get it off of me. So finally I was like, honey, you're okay. It's not that. It's not a snake. It's just a vine.
So I unwrap her from the snake, and we continue on for like 10 more minutes. But then by that time, the love was gone in the hike. There was nothing else left.
[00:17:30] Speaker A: I was in panic mode.
[00:17:31] Speaker B: Yeah, she was in full panic mode. I didn't know that she had a depth. Depth. What do you call that? Depth?
[00:17:37] Speaker A: Yeah, I have a depth perception.
[00:17:38] Speaker B: Depth perception deficit. None of this is on her match.com profile, by the way.
[00:17:42] Speaker A: Well, who would say that?
[00:17:43] Speaker B: Oh, if you hike.
If you're hiking is a good thing to put in there. Oh, by the way, I've got a dip. You know.
[00:17:49] Speaker A: Well, I'm sorry. It's not something you want people to know.
[00:17:52] Speaker B: Well, if I had known that, I would not take you onto. Anyway, so, anyway, so we managed to get back there and. And we got back to the cabin and she hasn't been hiking with me since.
[00:18:02] Speaker A: Yeah, I have.
[00:18:03] Speaker B: Where'd you go?
[00:18:04] Speaker A: We've gone several times. We went over there at the top of Nina.
[00:18:09] Speaker B: Oh, Queen Wilhelmina.
[00:18:11] Speaker A: And then we went on another one.
Yeah, that was in Costa thought, I think. Anyways.
[00:18:16] Speaker B: Yes. Okay, so I apologize.
[00:18:19] Speaker A: So the joke is now that, yes, the vine snake.
[00:18:23] Speaker B: Watch out for vines.
[00:18:25] Speaker A: So actually there are vine snakes. I looked it up anyways, but I wrote a blog about it too, right after it happened. So you should go read. It's really funny. I'll put a link in the comments.
[00:18:34] Speaker B: So, husbands, when you're out there and your wife falls down, it's probably just a vine snake. Just be nice.
[00:18:41] Speaker A: So anyway, of course, he had a good laugh at my expense. He also discovered that same week that she lied. Well, you. You started figuring out I had an anxiety disorder because we went there. But I think the day before that, we got lost on the four wheelers and I started losing my mind. Hyperventilating.
[00:18:58] Speaker B: Well, if anyone knows where Mena, Arkansas is, it is nowhere near Hot Springs.
[00:19:02] Speaker A: Right.
[00:19:03] Speaker B: So we almost wound up at Hot Springs.
[00:19:05] Speaker A: We were like, where are we? We're gonna. I'm like, we're gonna run out of that gas and da, where are we going?
[00:19:10] Speaker B: Like, I know exactly where we are because I have an Android.
[00:19:13] Speaker A: He's laughing And I'm over there like, like about to pass out.
[00:19:16] Speaker B: Well, one of us had to remain calm because the other one was losing their mind.
[00:19:21] Speaker A: Anyway, that's our fun, funny story because I think now we laugh about it and I think what it did was actually in some weird way brought us closer together and it opened the door for just like us to have fun.
[00:19:35] Speaker B: Well, if you can't laugh at yourself.
Yeah.
[00:19:39] Speaker A: And I think that as we get older, we stop having fun. We stop it and we get so fixated on fixing problems or taking other people, whatever. I mean I was reminded of that this weekend when we took our grandson to play.
And I normally don't go run through the water, you know, with that little splash pad. But I was having so much fun just playing with him running through the water. We swaying a little bit. That a word Twang.
[00:20:04] Speaker B: It is.
[00:20:04] Speaker A: Now we sway and you were pushing us and I was screaming because it was like, it was fun.
I can't remember the last time I had fun like that, you know.
[00:20:13] Speaker B: Yeah, it's a good time. It was. Our grandson is three years old and he's a little stinker. He really is good kid.
His mom and dad are raised him really well.
So we're sitting at the house, our TV has not worked.
[00:20:29] Speaker A: We have, which might be a blessing in disguise.
Yeah, maybe, I don't know.
[00:20:35] Speaker B: Well, I'm learning to do things without the television and any of you couples out there turn the TV off. You know, it doesn't always have to be a TV based sort of fun. Just turn the TV off and just have a good time with each other. That's all you have to do.
[00:20:49] Speaker A: Sometimes we, we sing like I'll get on the piano or guitar and we just think. And you love that.
[00:20:55] Speaker B: I love. I love hearing my wife sing. It's very relaxing. So I go in there when she's playing, I sit there and I just get carried away on musical.
Yeah, but there are some benefits.
What are the benefits, by the way? Now I told a story about you.
Now is there a story that you want to tell about me? Something that I have done that is quite humorous or can you remember because I'm pretty perfect other than my conceited.
[00:21:24] Speaker A: I mean those are the two big stories. I have one more, but I don't know that I want to tell that one. That might be a little too much.
I mean we laugh all the time.
[00:21:34] Speaker B: We do laugh all the time.
[00:21:35] Speaker A: We laugh at each other. We laugh about just silly things. We have. I think our sense of humor is Similar. So we're able to enjoy that about each other. Just quirky, weird things.
[00:21:46] Speaker B: We are quirky, weird people, so. Quirky weird things, really. And I am full of useless facts.
[00:21:53] Speaker A: You are.
[00:21:53] Speaker B: And I learned to just million use the facts just swimming around in my head. That's probably why I can't remember when last time I took a shower. Because these useless facts just swimming around in my head.
[00:22:01] Speaker A: So if any of you are Enneagram people, I have him pegged, I believe. And I don't like the box. Big blitz. But his. His natural.
Where he usually lands is a 5 on the enneagram. And he's. So they're called the investigator.
[00:22:17] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:22:18] Speaker A: And they just run around and just like, collect useless facts. And then they'll like, oh, God, this is the story. This is the story. I remember now.
[00:22:25] Speaker B: Right? Yeah. It's like she'll ask me, hey, do you know what this is like?
[00:22:27] Speaker A: Nope. So I took him with me to a worship event. And this is before your huge conversion, you know, that you had last year. This was a couple years ago, probably three years ago, maybe. Right. Maybe right after we got married. I think. Think it was that same year, so almost four. And I had been serving at a worship and intercession place, you know, and he thought it was kind of weird. He thought it was kind of weird. He was always like, I think it was. I knew it was people dancing around. I just don't know. I mean, he's like, I don't. I don't have anything against them doing that, but just. I don't. I grew up Baptist. This is.
[00:23:01] Speaker B: It was in our living room.
[00:23:02] Speaker A: Well, I know, but la.
[00:23:04] Speaker B: Twirling a flag, dancing to something over.
[00:23:06] Speaker A: There now you're okay with it, aren't you?
[00:23:08] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Well, I'm part of it. But a Southern Baptist, we don't do that.
[00:23:11] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So remember that night we went over? One of the people on the team was like, hey, we're gonna have a bonfire at the house. It was like, october, don't bring up the dog. So I take him with me, I drag him over there, and he's just.
[00:23:25] Speaker B: Like, I don't want to go.
[00:23:26] Speaker A: You know?
[00:23:26] Speaker B: Okay, so let me set this up because I am in history. Nut.
[00:23:29] Speaker A: Well, I just said that. You're a five. Oh, yeah, yeah. He keeps up with just. I mean, like, random useless facts that no one else on the earth.
[00:23:36] Speaker B: Probably ancient, ancient civilization.
[00:23:38] Speaker A: If I catch him.
[00:23:39] Speaker B: UFOs are real.
[00:23:41] Speaker A: Yeah. When I catch you watching stuff, you're watching, like, things on YouTube that are just like. I would never watch it.
[00:23:47] Speaker B: Anyway, Bigfoot and Dog Man, I've seen both of them.
[00:23:49] Speaker A: Anyway, so I caught him over there, and he was. You were talking to some. A man that goes. Goes to the program.
[00:23:56] Speaker B: He owns the building.
[00:23:57] Speaker A: Yeah. And I heard you say, I don't even know what y' all talking about, but you said out of nowhere. Well, have you heard of the Dogon Tribe or something like that?
[00:24:07] Speaker B: Okay, so where we were, good gracious alive, where we were. I forgot all about that.
Like, I wish I could have, but we were sitting outside and our backs were to the campfire and the stars were just so lit up. We were talking about how pretty it was. I was like, hey, man, by the way, the Dogon Tribe, he said, oh, God. He said, cool, man. And got up and just smooth walked off.
[00:24:35] Speaker A: I was like, I gotta go.
What was the Dogon Tribe? Was that to do with the stars, I mean.
[00:24:40] Speaker B: Well, the Dogon Tribe discovered Sirius before we ever did. They knew about Sirius A and Sirius B before we ever saw it with our first telescopes.
So, yeah.
[00:24:50] Speaker A: So there you go.
[00:24:51] Speaker B: That's my useless fact.
[00:24:53] Speaker A: And see how excited he gets.
Anyway, so we were telling that guy, and the guy was like, okay, I got. I mean, he was nice. He was like, okay, cool. And then we never saw him again. That was hilarious. So you were laughing about like, I can't.
I can't make friends. I'm the weird person that nobody wants to be friends with, which is not true.
But I, you know, I celebrate that little weirdness about you that you. You have. If I. If I need to know the answer to a weird thing, I ask you.
[00:25:20] Speaker B: Yeah, I will have the answer.
[00:25:21] Speaker A: If I don't, every once in a while, you're like, I don't know. And I'm like, okay, look it up, look it up.
[00:25:25] Speaker B: Well, see? And whenever you. Whenever you ask me a question that I don't know, it's going to bother me until I do know.
[00:25:30] Speaker A: Yes. So, yeah, I think that's so funny. Anyway. Anyway, so that's my funny story about. About it.
[00:25:37] Speaker B: Oh, I forgot all about that.
[00:25:39] Speaker A: That was fun. So we. I'm sure we have a lot of those, and I'm sure people listening, you probably do, too.
[00:25:43] Speaker B: And I think all I'm going to say. Say one more thing. Cousins, make sure you have plenty of gas in your car.
Please make sure you have plenty of.
[00:25:51] Speaker A: Gas down, because we almost ran out of gas.
[00:25:54] Speaker B: Yeah, we didn't almost run out of gas. We have.
[00:25:56] Speaker A: Well, that's before my Wellbutrin got adjusted.
Half dose, just.
[00:26:04] Speaker B: Oh my God.
We're not over medicated. We're happily medicated people.
[00:26:09] Speaker A: Happily medicated.
[00:26:10] Speaker B: Yeah, that's right.
[00:26:11] Speaker A: All right, so the benefits, what are the benefits of play in marriage?
[00:26:16] Speaker B: Well, the first one is it breaks tension and fosters a connection between.
And I think that's important because, you know, if you got two people our age and a little younger, they're working, they got the stress of work, they got the stress of home.
If you have had kids already, you're gonna have the stress of having kids. They got activities, they've got homework. Do they do homework anymore?
[00:26:36] Speaker A: I think so. I see parents complaining about it on Facebook.
[00:26:42] Speaker B: So you've got all that stuff coming in and the tension can build up and up and up. And if you don't have, if you don't have something like laughter or play involved, then it's going to become overwhelming. Something's going to break.
[00:26:55] Speaker A: Yeah. And I think that, I think important to say about that is you shouldn't wait for it to build up. You should have these regular times where you guys intentionally do things, you know, so that it's kind of like anything else in life. I mean, if you wait until the explosions already happened and it didn't do you any good, but if you kind of stay on top of it, like maintenance.
[00:27:20] Speaker B: Right.
[00:27:20] Speaker A: You know, and I even think like getting away sometimes, even a cheap, quick two day vacation or whatever where you go to Dallas or just somewhere close by Galveston or something, you know, we let go. And I think that really is so important.
[00:27:35] Speaker B: That's right, it is.
I think that it also helps you rediscover each other as a person. Because one of the things that you do when you become married is the husband and the wife both lose their identity. They lose their identity and they become. Oh, the married couple.
[00:27:49] Speaker A: Yeah. And I think that's important to note because although God does say, you know, my scripture is like the two become one. Right. That doesn't mean that you lose all of your identity and your autonomy as a human being. You know what I mean?
[00:28:03] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. It doesn't mean that at all. I mean, as a matter of fact, I encourage you to go hang out with your friends all the time. I think that having life with other people is important.
[00:28:14] Speaker A: And I feel refreshed.
[00:28:14] Speaker B: Everybody but me, I am a hermit.
[00:28:16] Speaker A: Yeah. Which is wrong. You need to work on.
[00:28:22] Speaker B: But okay.
[00:28:23] Speaker A: So I mean.
[00:28:25] Speaker B: Oh, and scientific laughter. Scientists study, scientific studies have shown that laughter reduces stress and increases oxytocin in the body and oxytocin is the feel good drug.
[00:28:40] Speaker A: Yeah. And I would say on top of that, like, if you're struggling with intimacy with each other, make each other laugh. Make each other laugh.
[00:28:47] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:28:49] Speaker A: Actually, I really think, think it creates a safety there because you all of a sudden you let your guard down. You don't feel like you're being attacked. And I think that's what happens in marriage. You start feeling like the other person's the enemy.
[00:29:02] Speaker B: Right.
[00:29:03] Speaker A: You know, and so you always have like, okay, I've got my boxing gloves on. Are you going to say something to me today?
I've got to defend myself.
[00:29:11] Speaker B: Right.
[00:29:12] Speaker A: And I think just laughing, thinking about that movie now that you.
We were talking about this. Do you remember that movie?
I think it's Daddy's Home. Is it one Daddy's Home? Do you remember? I think it's the first one. Do you remember when they have the dance off at the end?
[00:29:28] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:29:28] Speaker A: Because like, he's, you know, what's his name? Will Ferrell. He's Mark Wahlberg, like, just weird, you know, I mean, he's just that quirky, weird guy. And somebody's, you know, it looks like there's gonna be this huge fight breakout between these two dads or something.
And all of a sudden he's like, no, man, I got you. And he starts dancing. And then it becomes like this dance off and everybody's laughing and the whole thing, the tension just dissipates. I think it's the same thing.
[00:29:52] Speaker B: Yeah. It's distracting.
[00:29:55] Speaker A: Yeah. I think it takes away that.
Because what it is, is all of a sudden you feel like you're being attacked. So if you can laugh, then you're gonna, you know, feel like, realize, oh, my gosh, I'm not being attacked. There's not a bear chasing me. My spouse is not trying to kill me.
[00:30:08] Speaker B: There are no vine snakes.
[00:30:09] Speaker A: Yeah. I can actually enjoy this moment.
[00:30:14] Speaker B: It was such a fun day.
[00:30:17] Speaker A: Do you remember? I was just thinking about this too, because we talked about it when we went over there. Our friends, we kind of like take turns hosting dinner at our house and we also, we have conversations about God, about what? You know, just. It's very spirit led and it's not like planned and it's not stressful. There's usually no kids there.
[00:30:40] Speaker B: That's why it's so calm.
[00:30:41] Speaker A: Yeah, right. And that one time we went over to one of our friend's house and they had really just made this really good dinner.
[00:30:49] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:30:49] Speaker A: And we were outside and it Was just like, it was so relaxing.
[00:30:53] Speaker B: Yeah. It took everything I had not to be a pig.
[00:30:55] Speaker A: And that was right after.
[00:30:58] Speaker B: That was right after.
[00:30:59] Speaker A: That was March. Yeah, that was March. And it was right after, you know, lots and more things happened and it was right after you, right before you went to Trace Diaz because you, I mean you were on the verge. You didn't want to go.
[00:31:12] Speaker B: I backed out.
[00:31:13] Speaker A: Such a good time. It was fun, it was relaxing and it was just like I started to. I think that's when I started. God. Started opening my eyes to hey, one of the things he's doing in marriages is he's, he's teaching us about resting in him but having fun as a couple and enjoying our lives and having dates and doing romantic things like that matters.
[00:31:36] Speaker B: It really does matter. Well, if romance dies, the marriage dies, you know. And if you forget to laugh and all you do is walk around straight face and stone, stone faced all the time. You don't, you don't. There's nothing to interact for. You don't. There's no reason to interact if all you are serious all the time.
[00:31:52] Speaker A: Yeah. I think we forget that like our spouse was given to us as a gift. They're not. Remember that project to fix. They're not a cross to bear all the time.
[00:32:03] Speaker B: I'm going to remind you of that. I'm a gift woman.
[00:32:06] Speaker A: I try to say he's a gift. Yeah, don't, don't mad. Just.
[00:32:10] Speaker B: Yes. So there are types of play and fun that grown ups can do.
[00:32:16] Speaker A: Yeah. And I need work in this area because I like am not a fun person by nature. Like I really, I have to go. Okay, Shannon, go into fun mode. What is fun?
[00:32:24] Speaker B: Right? We're not talking about baby oil and twister.
We're talking about things.
[00:32:28] Speaker A: I told you not to talk about that.
[00:32:32] Speaker B: Yeah. So some couples out there, we're talking about things.
We're talking about hiking, which sports.
[00:32:42] Speaker A: Okay, let's go back to hiking. Because I am like one of the things I'm going to do is I'm going to, I'm going to grow in this area. I'm not going to be afraid. One of the things about my personality is if I'm afraid of something, I will force myself to face it.
[00:32:54] Speaker B: She will, she's very brave.
[00:32:56] Speaker A: Like I'm very scared to drive in Dallas, but I force myself to do it. So I've done it several times. I don't like to, to travel by myself but I force myself to do it all the time. So I think in this Area. I want to force myself to do it.
[00:33:09] Speaker B: Okay, well, you know, the Washington. The Washita trail is about 256 miles long.
[00:33:15] Speaker A: Yeah, I know.
[00:33:16] Speaker B: We can do that.
We can train for about a year.
See, guys, clap with me here.
We're going to go hike the Washington Trail. We're going to break her in. Also. Also, things that. That you can do that are not like board games, puzzles, playful debate, stuff like that. You know, one of the best things that I can think of is doing DYI project. DIY project.
[00:33:40] Speaker A: Okay, like what?
[00:33:42] Speaker B: Well, like, don't buy. Don't try to put together IKEA furniture together. It doesn't work.
Things like, oh, my God, I drew a blank diy. Like painting the kitchen or painting. Like, where we were in here. Painting.
You come in and you ask if I need anything every once in a while.
[00:34:01] Speaker A: I didn't help you. I did help you put the floor down, though.
[00:34:04] Speaker B: She did help me put the floor down. It's a really pretty hardwood floor, so. But she actually asked my input when it came to decorating, you know, so do things together that way. It looks like both of you had input.
I didn't really have much input. She asked my opinion, and then when I gave it, she gave. She did her own anyway, so whatever.
[00:34:25] Speaker A: One of the projects I. I've been wanting to do, and it's just so blast. I thought, you know, I ain't gonna do it right now, but. Because it's outside. But I want to take that dresser that we had in here.
[00:34:35] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:34:35] Speaker A: That was from the 50s or 60s and. And redo it, and I want to do that together.
[00:34:40] Speaker B: That'd be really cool. Yeah, you're gonna have to heat it up. The heat gun and fill all that. All of that.
[00:34:46] Speaker A: Yeah, veneer off of it.
[00:34:47] Speaker B: Yeah, veneer off of it, but re. Veneer it.
[00:34:49] Speaker A: There's things like that, but I mean, there's kinds of things like get creative. Like, do something like, I would love to just, like you sit down and try to write a song with me. I think you would enjoy it.
[00:35:02] Speaker B: That would be cool.
[00:35:02] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, that would be. That's a good project.
[00:35:04] Speaker B: That's a very good project.
[00:35:06] Speaker A: Or I'd love to go to one of those, like, painting with the twist classes where you paint something. Yeah, it'd be fun. And I have that idea about dancing because we want to dance, but we're both like, well, I have rhythm, but I'm just embarrassed.
[00:35:20] Speaker B: I am straight up white boy.
[00:35:22] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:35:22] Speaker B: I have none.
[00:35:23] Speaker A: I'm embarrassed. Do it in front of me in the kitchen. Yeah. I don't know why.
[00:35:27] Speaker B: It's just me.
[00:35:28] Speaker A: I know.
[00:35:29] Speaker B: Yeah.
It takes a little while to get comfortable to do it, I guess.
[00:35:33] Speaker A: No, I'm like this with everybody. I won't dance in front of people. I'm so embarrassed. Even though I'll sing in front of them, I'll speak in front of people. But dancing, I feel really self conscious. Anyway, we want to.
[00:35:42] Speaker B: We want to. We bought the program.
[00:35:44] Speaker A: We bought a program.
[00:35:46] Speaker B: Dancing in the dark or something.
[00:35:48] Speaker A: It's like date night dancing.
[00:35:51] Speaker B: Date night dancing.
[00:35:52] Speaker A: And it, like, takes you through, like, you learn, like, several different moves, and then it teaches you how to string them together and you can do them, like, in any.
Any type of music.
[00:36:02] Speaker B: Right.
[00:36:03] Speaker A: And then. So you go out and you go to a wedding or something.
[00:36:05] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:36:06] Speaker A: And you just bust this amazing. Go bust a move dance program out that you've been working on. Everybody's like, oh, my gosh.
[00:36:12] Speaker B: That's right. That's right.
[00:36:13] Speaker A: That's on our to do list.
[00:36:15] Speaker B: That's right.
We've had it for a year and we looked at it five times, but we'll get there. Five times is better than zero.
[00:36:24] Speaker A: So what else? What else is fine? We work out together.
[00:36:27] Speaker B: We do work out together. We spend a lot of time together.
I've always told her that she probably the only person that I've ever been around all the time that didn't get on my nerves all the time, you know.
[00:36:39] Speaker A: Oh, I get on your nerves some of the time.
[00:36:45] Speaker B: I didn't say that.
[00:36:46] Speaker A: That was the implication.
[00:36:49] Speaker B: Say, you get on my nerves. I swear I did not.
No, I actually enjoy being with my wife a lot of the times. It's just for comic relief with each other.
Like, she'll do things that I don't enjoy doing and I have to go with her anyway. She'll enjoy watching me over there just mumble and stuff like that.
[00:37:09] Speaker A: But then when you get there, you're like, oh, my gosh, I'm so glad I went.
[00:37:12] Speaker B: Yeah, I will do that after.
[00:37:14] Speaker A: We like. We like to go to ballet.
[00:37:18] Speaker B: I love ballet.
[00:37:20] Speaker A: We haven't been to an opera yet. We would like to go. We've been to concerts, of course. We love those.
[00:37:25] Speaker B: Yeah. It's my fault the Nutcracker feet were so bad.
[00:37:29] Speaker A: No, I think that was my fault.
[00:37:30] Speaker B: No, I bought them anyways.
[00:37:33] Speaker A: We had. We went to a Zach Williams Christmas concert. It was amazing.
[00:37:37] Speaker B: That was a fantastic show.
[00:37:38] Speaker A: And remember, we went to that really good restaurant.
[00:37:41] Speaker B: Okay, anybody that is in the Little Rock it was Texarkana. Anybody that Texarkana that knows about a really cool. Is it a steakhouse?
[00:37:49] Speaker A: Yeah. I'll have to look it up. It was so good.
[00:37:52] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh, it was such an amazing place. Service was great, so hats off to you when we'll let you know what the name of it is.
[00:37:58] Speaker A: I have an idea. So this would be a fun thing to do for us or any couple listening. What about you just get in the car, you don't plan it, and you go, okay. Like, it's a Saturday. You don't have to work, and you're like, we're just gonna go whatever direction we feel like going and end up wherever we feel like, you know, wherever we end up. I mean, it doesn't have to be, like, super far away, but I mean, like, okay, let's take a right. Let's just see, like, what this town about. And then you end up in some cool place on some restaurant somewhere, you know, that's really good or something, or a coffee house or. Or you go shopping or you find flea market or. You know what I mean?
[00:38:34] Speaker B: Yeah, that would be a really fun time.
[00:38:36] Speaker A: Yeah, I think things like that. Gosh, it just is so, like, for one minute, you forget about your stupid phone, you forget about social media, you forget about work and all your obligations, and for one second or this moment in time, you feel free.
[00:38:50] Speaker B: Well, I want to tell you, the phone and the social media has killed communication between two people a lot of times. I mean, we're guilty of it too. You know, we're guilty of it. I know that. I am very guilty of it.
I'm a recovering tiktokaholic. I still. I'm still there.
[00:39:10] Speaker A: I catch you on it all the time.
[00:39:11] Speaker B: I'm on it all the time. But I do have my business on there.
[00:39:14] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:39:14] Speaker B: You know, so I'm friending people who I think can help my business grow and stuff like that.
Not as much into Instagram. Yeah, but. But anyway, so here's what happens. A lot of times Shay has Facebook. I don't have Facebook.
So we'll be sitting there in the den. Now that the TV is out.
The TV is out. So we just sit there in the den, and we're on our phone and I'm looking and I'm like, gosh, I'd rather have the tv. At least we interacted with each other.
[00:39:43] Speaker A: Yeah, I think this is worse.
[00:39:45] Speaker B: Yeah. So put your phones down, guys.
You don't got to turn it off. I know that a lot of us are tied to Our phones for business. And we have children and grandchildren and elderly parents.
[00:39:55] Speaker A: But set an alarm system. Like, okay, I'm not gonna do it after this.
You know, like, this is out of control. Like, you're not interacting with your spouse, and you're just both sucked into the social media trap.
[00:40:06] Speaker B: Absolutely. Social media. It's not a good thing for marriage. It is definitely not a good thing for a man.
[00:40:14] Speaker A: Not to mention all the affairs.
[00:40:15] Speaker B: Not to mention all the affairs. And that's why it's not good for a man. But put it down, man. Just have fun with each other. I think we as a nation have forgotten.
[00:40:24] Speaker A: Go do something you haven't ever done before.
[00:40:26] Speaker B: I mean, come on, We're Gen X now. Shay, she's a millennial.
[00:40:29] Speaker A: I don't know what I am.
[00:40:30] Speaker B: You're a millennial, I think. Anyway, so we're Gen X, man. Yeah, we're latchkey kids. I didn't even have a key.
The latchkey kids had to keep the house tied around their neck. I mean, my parents just locked me out of the house and go out of town for a date.
[00:40:44] Speaker A: I hope you're joking or you're not joking.
[00:40:46] Speaker B: Dead serious.
So, guys, just get out, have fun. Do fun things without your phones. You know, like, everybody likes that oxytocin download. You know, laughter makes the heart grow fonder. And laughter leads to other things. There's a ton of funny videos out there about, well, he made me laugh. And then this happened.
[00:41:05] Speaker A: It might have been a bad thing, but he made me laugh.
[00:41:07] Speaker B: If, you know, you know.
[00:41:09] Speaker A: So anyway, I even think, like, spiritually, one of the things that we do, because we're both, like, Bible nerds, will, like, part of what we do in the mornings is pray and read our Bibles together. And we just like, what does that word mean? And we'll stop. And I'm like, okay, I got to look this up. And we'll spend 30 minutes looking up words or digging around in the Bible and cross referencing it and. Or then maybe like, oh, let me find. Remember when I was studying the Tabernacle, Moses and all that?
[00:41:39] Speaker B: And she's also a speaker as well.
She travels.
[00:41:43] Speaker A: She speaks sometimes, but. And I was like, oh, my gosh, I have to learn about the Tabernacle, Moses. And you were like, okay, let's do it.
[00:41:52] Speaker B: History, man, history.
[00:41:54] Speaker A: You're all up in it, too.
We were watching all these videos from Jerusalem and just all the things, cool things there and things like that.
[00:42:03] Speaker B: But you did uncover things that I didn't even know.
[00:42:06] Speaker A: Yes, I Did.
So let's talk about. What are some of the barriers to, like, barriers to play?
[00:42:15] Speaker B: Well, I think that. I think that with anything else it comes down to if you're self conscious about yourself, if you have a negative opinion, body wise, or, or, you know, I don't know how to have fun. I don't like having.
That can definitely be a barrier to everything. Is that if you have a negative on things, you've got to loosen up, you know, you've gotta.
Look, I married you. I mean, you're not gonna do anything that I haven't already seen.
You know, so there's no reason to be self conscious yet. Married for a couple of years or even, even six months after you get married, all that should be gone. You know me, I am not at all.
[00:42:57] Speaker A: You're not.
[00:42:57] Speaker B: I'm not.
[00:42:58] Speaker A: Well, sometimes you are.
[00:42:59] Speaker B: Sometimes I can.
[00:43:00] Speaker A: I'm way more self conscious.
[00:43:01] Speaker B: Yes, you are. You are. But, but do things that. That loses. Lose the self consciousness. Don't, don't worry about that. Just be. Just be dumb.
[00:43:11] Speaker A: Sometimes we go to the movies and sometimes we do. Like, that's just a super easy thing that anybody can do. It's not like, I mean, yeah, kind of expensive.
[00:43:19] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:43:19] Speaker A: But sometimes I'm like, let's go to the matinee. It's only 10 bucks. You know.
[00:43:22] Speaker B: That's right. We like this 10 buck thing and.
[00:43:24] Speaker A: We watch Jurassic park thing. We talked about last week and we enjoyed it.
[00:43:29] Speaker B: We did enjoy it.
[00:43:30] Speaker A: And it's like we escaped like reality for a little while. Not that reality's so bad, but it was just, I don't know, it was just fun.
[00:43:38] Speaker B: It was fun.
Well, it was good that it was only down 20 minutes from where we lived. You know, it wasn't very far away. In the town that we in, we have to go 45 miles each direction to hit a big town.
But this little town that we're at has a great theater. We enjoyed it. It was fun.
[00:43:55] Speaker A: So trying out new restaurants.
We used to. We used to pick a day every week and I would. Because I was kind of using it to grow my business as well, which is a great marketing tactic, by the way.
But we would go places and I would share about it and I would take pictures on Facebook and it was just like off the beaten path.
[00:44:14] Speaker B: That's right.
And don't pick the big nice restaurants.
[00:44:18] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[00:44:19] Speaker B: Like she was saying earlier, pick destination. Pick a small town. When you're driving through, say, okay, let's see what kind of restaurants they have here. And it could be like a mom and pop joint. And I want to tell you, man, mom and pop joints have a lot better food than these big restaurants do.
We found this really cool cheesecake pack, this Cheesecake Factory in Lindale.
[00:44:42] Speaker A: What?
[00:44:43] Speaker B: The cheesecake place right across the street from the barbecue.
[00:44:45] Speaker A: Oh, that was in Jefferson, I think, right? Or Marshall.
[00:44:48] Speaker B: No, it was that way.
Was it Lindale?
[00:44:52] Speaker A: Oh, maybe it was Lindale.
[00:44:53] Speaker B: Yeah, maybe it was Lindale.
And I'm telling you what, we had a great day that they got good barbecue.
[00:44:58] Speaker A: Like, what I was doing was. I was kind of. Because I was starting my business, but we wanted to spend time together. And I'm in mortgage, so I was going around to. I would pick a different city that week, and we would take. I would take bags of goodies in there and cards and stuff like that. And so then it was a two for one, because you would be off that day, and we would go kind of check that town out, and we would go eat somewhere cool and just things like that.
[00:45:25] Speaker B: Yeah, it was really fun.
So, I mean, if you got kids that you can't leave behind, take them with you. But if you can find someone to watch your kids marry a couple, it is a great thing. Get together and do that kind of thing. Travel, man. You ain't necessarily got to spend any money. Like Lake Caddo down the road.
[00:45:41] Speaker A: That was fun that day. We did that.
[00:45:43] Speaker B: We underestimated that trail.
[00:45:45] Speaker A: That was right after the whole thing had happened.
[00:45:48] Speaker B: Yeah, that was right after the affairs.
[00:45:50] Speaker A: It was your idea. We were just like, yeah, we were sitting around here or were we out?
And you said, let's just go to Lake Caddo and walk around. And I was like, I don't know that I've ever been to Caddo Lake.
[00:46:01] Speaker B: It's beautiful.
[00:46:01] Speaker A: It was. And there was a trail, and we. And it was hard. I remember that on the.
[00:46:05] Speaker B: Oh, God, that last part of that hill.
There was nothing intermediate about it.
[00:46:10] Speaker A: Yeah, it was so pretty, though.
[00:46:12] Speaker B: Yeah, it was beautiful there.
[00:46:14] Speaker A: I think. I think impromptu things like that are cool, but I think scheduling it, you know, like, okay, listen, we're broke. Like, sometimes we're broke, and so we have to go. Okay, we're gonna have to do a cheap one.
Maybe that's something. Like, okay, I thought about doing this, but we did it. Like, just a night under the stars or something.
[00:46:33] Speaker B: That's right, man. You know, I got a truck, and when it starts to cool off, the mosquitoes aren't so bad.
Go to a really dark place, look at the light. Look at the light. Look at the stars. Put us. Put a sleeping bag down, get two pillows and just sit there and look at the stars and just talk.
[00:46:53] Speaker A: Drink some wine.
[00:46:54] Speaker B: Drink some wine.
[00:46:54] Speaker A: Have a picnic.
[00:46:55] Speaker B: Have a picnic. That's right.
[00:46:58] Speaker A: I mean, that's free. Almost.
[00:46:59] Speaker B: It's almost free. You can make the food before you leave. You don't have to buy anything. Thing, so. Well, you have to buy. Yeah, but.
But, yeah, just stuff like that.
[00:47:07] Speaker A: Get out of the rut.
[00:47:08] Speaker B: Get out of the rut of marriage.
[00:47:10] Speaker A: And I'm glad that we went Friday night because it was out of the rut. Like we were. We got to go like 7:38. We're early birds. And we have been talking about, okay, we have to stop doing this. Like, we need to start going out at night. We need to change things up and. And, you know, but you don't want to spend hundreds of dollars going out every night. So it's like, well, what can we do?
[00:47:30] Speaker B: It doesn't cost.
[00:47:31] Speaker A: What if it's like just hanging out with your friends and praying together? I mean, doesn't even have to be like. Or maybe a Bible study with some friends, you know, I mean, it doesn't have to be like these big things that we try to make it out.
[00:47:43] Speaker B: To be or just a small, small hors d' oeuvre or small entree thing, you know?
[00:47:50] Speaker A: Yeah, light snacks.
[00:47:51] Speaker B: Light snacks don't cost a lot of money. You know, you get together.
I think all your friends like to.
[00:47:57] Speaker A: Drink wine, but they eat super healthy food. They make their own bread and their.
[00:48:02] Speaker B: Own bread, stuff like that. So, I mean, make a recipe. Schedule a group with your friends, your married friends say, hey, get together. You make this and I'll make that, and I'll make that. You know, get together and like, showcase your favorite recipes and stuff like that as a couple, you know, and then make it together.
Don't just say, okay, honey, that's a good idea.
And then throw that flour all over her, all over him. Get it all over the kitchen.
Just have a Dirty Dancing moment. No, not Dirty Dancing. What was that movie?
[00:48:34] Speaker A: I don't know.
[00:48:35] Speaker B: Ghost. Ghost. Give me more.
Give me more. Patrick Swayze. Before your time, I think.
[00:48:40] Speaker A: No, I've seen it. I'm not that young.
[00:48:44] Speaker B: Have a ghost moment.
[00:48:45] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. So sometimes I think barriers for people are feeling too busy, feeling too stressed, or just so much tension in the relationship that they feel like they can't even, you know, get past the pension. I think if you're in that place, you're probably in crisis mode with your marriage anyway, I think one of the best things you can do is, is do something fun.
Do something so fun that hopefully both of you enjoy it. And I know it's hard because you're so worked up, but I think if you'll let yourself go a little bit, it will be so much easier to work through it.
[00:49:20] Speaker B: And a stressed out couple is a stressed out marriage. And that is a great way for Satan come in. Got the ideas in your head?
[00:49:28] Speaker A: Yeah, it really is.
[00:49:29] Speaker B: It really is. So here's what I'm gonna do with you guys.
I'm gonna challenge you guys. We talked about this earlier. I'm gonna challenge the couples out there to plan something fun, silly, light hearted, whatever it is, within the next week. I keep the baby oil and twister to yourself.
I don't want to know about that.
[00:49:53] Speaker A: No pictures.
[00:49:54] Speaker B: No pictures, please. No pictures.
This is a family oriented podcast, so just plan something fun, man. Just plan like a small outing to heck. We've got some woods back here on our property. We go out there and just sit under the tree.
[00:50:13] Speaker A: Yeah. You have a bow and arrow. We could go shoot it.
[00:50:16] Speaker B: Got a bow and go shoot it.
[00:50:17] Speaker A: That would be fun.
Yeah, I'll go fishing. I will.
[00:50:22] Speaker B: Did you see how she said that?
[00:50:24] Speaker A: It's just so hot right now.
[00:50:25] Speaker B: Yeah, I know. Well, you go fishing at night.
[00:50:28] Speaker A: I'm not scared of fishing.
[00:50:29] Speaker B: Yeah, go kayaking, stuff like that.
[00:50:31] Speaker A: That's a little bit scary, but I'm gonna work up.
[00:50:32] Speaker B: That's right. That's right. We don't get it. So, so, okay, couples, so plan something fun, silly, light hearted activity with your spouse this week. And what I want you to do is take some G rated pictures and, and email them to.
[00:50:49] Speaker A: Okay. Make sure they're G read. I want to say that again. Okay.
ShannaShannaStrange.net yes, Shannon Strange.net and we will.
Tell us about your experience. Did you guys have fun? Did it, did it reignite something? Do you feel better? Are you in a better space? You know, I really want to know that because I really want to have testimonials from people and say, listen, this stuff works like, it's simple, but it worked. And this will, this could potentially start saving your marriage. Something small like this.
[00:51:20] Speaker B: That's right.
You know, a lot of times somebody will step out of a marriage if they are bored, if there's no, if there's no play, if there's no physical touch or intimacy. And I really think that playing and fun leads to that.
[00:51:35] Speaker A: I Mean, it's funny that you said that, because I think.
Because right now, I got to be honest, like, all over social media is that guy, the CEO guy that got having the affair at the Coldplay concert. It really breaks my heart.
[00:51:48] Speaker B: It actually.
[00:51:48] Speaker A: I feel so bad for the wife. I feel so bad for him and this other woman as well, because what you just said was basically, to summarize, that was for going outside of their marriage. Because their marriage has become so dang, either boring or stressful or there's nothing. Like there's no fire there. And so they're going outside of their marriage. Sometimes that's not always the case, but sometimes it is.
It's just. It's become just this routine, this drudgery thing.
And so they want some excitement, so they go outside of the marriage and they find it with somebody else. And, you know, the truth is, if they were to get divorced from their spouse and end up with that person, it would be the same thing.
[00:52:30] Speaker B: And break down in fun, break down in communication, break down in play. Because. Because couples play together, play together, couples.
[00:52:37] Speaker A: Play together, stay together. Couldn't open. I'm sorry.
[00:52:39] Speaker B: It leads to a breakdown in communication. And when you have a breakdown in communication, you don't.
You don't put out there what you want. You don't put out there what you're wanting to do with that person. All you see is, you see all the time we become roommates.
And you don't want a roommate that you're married to for the next 30 years.
[00:53:01] Speaker A: Misery.
And that's not what God wants.
[00:53:04] Speaker B: No, not at all.
[00:53:05] Speaker A: He wants you to actually enjoy that person and have a good time, have a good life and laugh sometimes. It's not always going to be laughter and fun times, but it's also not going to always be sucky miserable times either. And I think a lot of people get stuck in the sucky, miserable.
[00:53:18] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:53:19] Speaker A: In the frowning terrible season.
[00:53:21] Speaker B: Well, they don't want to go home anymore.
[00:53:23] Speaker A: Right. You find a reason to not go home. I remember you telling me that, not about our marriage, but previously, that you would find reasons, like, not to go home. Like, try to find something else to do. You're so miserable because the other person is just a killjoy, you know?
[00:53:38] Speaker B: Absolutely. Don't be so serious guys out there. You got to go in, you've got to have fun. If one spouse doesn't really know how to do it, you plan the trip.
[00:53:48] Speaker A: You're more fun than me.
[00:53:50] Speaker B: My wife has many things that are fun planned for this year.
[00:53:54] Speaker A: Yeah. We do. So let's talk about this. So I have. And this was all at the behest of the Lord. I think that's the right word. I wanted to use that word because it just. I just wanted to have fun.
[00:54:05] Speaker B: You want to say big word, just say it. Big words.
[00:54:07] Speaker A: Is that right? Anyways, so we are next month and I don't know how we're going to do this, but we're going to figure it out. We're going to get our marriage reboot certificate or go through our process for that certification. We're going to on a cruise at the end of August and he is terrified.
[00:54:25] Speaker B: I don't like ships. That's why I went into the ground based military.
[00:54:28] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. But you know what? You got to face your fears just like I'm doing.
And we're gonna have to somehow make a podcast episode that week.
[00:54:36] Speaker B: If I wind up three fathoms on the bottom of the ocean, I'm coming.
[00:54:38] Speaker A: Back to haunt you.
[00:54:39] Speaker B: I'm telling you right now.
[00:54:41] Speaker A: Okay. So it's gonna be fun. It's gonna be amazing. And then September, I don't think I have anything on the books.
And then October, we are going to finalize the certification in Florida.
And then I'm going to Trace Dias in October.
[00:55:02] Speaker B: Okay. And Trace Dias is something you have to be invited to by someone who has been there.
It's not a cult type thing. It's very, very Christian based.
I went through it. I actually got out of it.
And then God convicted me and told me that I was going or he was not going to let me sleep ever again.
So I called Rick, my sponsor and he said, you know what he said? The Lord told me to hold that thing for one more day, but I went ahead and gave it to someone else. Let me see what I can do.
And I'm thinking, yes, I got out of it. I don't have to go to this thing. I don't want to do it. I'm happy. And then all of a sudden he called back about an hour later, you're in.
[00:55:43] Speaker A: I knew you were supposed to go. I was like, okay, God's going to work this out. And he.
And it was life changing.
So I'm going to that.
[00:55:51] Speaker B: Right?
[00:55:51] Speaker A: And then in November.
November, yes. And November we're going to Lake Tahoe together. I'm so excited about that. For a marriage retreat.
So we just have a crazy.
But you know, I think that we deserve it because of what we've been through the last couple years.
[00:56:06] Speaker B: There's an old saying approach the end of the year tired and exhausted. And I think that my wife is going to make sure that we are.
[00:56:13] Speaker A: But no, we're going to get renewed through all this.
[00:56:15] Speaker B: Renewed.
[00:56:16] Speaker A: That's the thing about play and recreation, is it actually refreshes and renews you.
[00:56:21] Speaker B: That's right. And we did pick a good cruise line.
[00:56:24] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:56:24] Speaker B: We didn't pick the other one.
[00:56:25] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:56:27] Speaker B: So hopefully we'll have fun and sun.
[00:56:31] Speaker A: And not get burned and don't get.
[00:56:32] Speaker B: Burned and pray that we don't hit an iceberg or some sandbar somewhere.
[00:56:36] Speaker A: We're going to make a podcast episode on the boat. Somehow I think that would be fun. Anyways.
Anyway, so that's that.
[00:56:43] Speaker B: So that's that.
[00:56:43] Speaker A: So you guys pick.
[00:56:45] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:56:45] Speaker A: Fun activity this week.
Tag, you know, get on social media if you're friends with me or you follow my page. I have a. I have a ministry page. It's just Shanna Strange. You can just look it up Strange on Facebook and I'm on Insta as well. Tag me in it or follow my page and tag me and so that we can see it and. And then email it to us. You know, tell us your testimony, your story.
[00:57:08] Speaker B: Also, one of the. I'm going to interject something also one other thing. Actually, two other things. You know, I got to end it with a 981 and 2.
So if you guys have a topic that you would like for us to discuss, this just came to me. I'm brilliant.
If you have a topic that you would like us to discuss, something that we haven't managed to touch on in our podcast so far because we are young. I understand that. But we also want a very interactive relationship with you guys as well. So Q and A. Yeah, it's like do some Q A.
If there's someone that, you know, if you have an idea about something that we want that you would like us to talk about, man, just sit and just message.
[00:57:47] Speaker A: Yeah, message it in a topic. But I also. If you have a testimony of your.
[00:57:52] Speaker B: Absolutely. Story, we will read it online.
[00:57:54] Speaker A: Well, we could potentially actually interview people too, which is something we had thought about. We'd probably do like a zoom thing where we talk to other couples that have. And a beautiful story of redemption.
So we would love that. You can email me again, Shannon strange.net if you're interested in that.
[00:58:10] Speaker B: Anyway, that is a wrap.
[00:58:13] Speaker A: Yeah. And the 988.
[00:58:14] Speaker B: Not a bacon wrap. It is a wrap.
[00:58:16] Speaker A: Yeah. The 988 number is for veteran. The Veteran Crisis Hotline.
[00:58:20] Speaker B: Any veterans out there, my brothers in arms, who are not feeling the love right now. Please don't do whatever it is you think you're doing.
Shoot us a message and I will call you personally.
Call 988. The VA is there for a reason. I know a lot of people have had better experiences with the va, but I can help you walk through the process of to have a good experience.
Give me a call, please. 988. Fellas, you have worth. No matter what anybody has told you, I love you as a brother.
God bless, guys, that's it.
[00:58:53] Speaker A: We'll see you next week.
[00:58:54] Speaker B: Have a blessed night.
You, too. Have a blessed night. Yeah.
[00:59:03] Speaker A: Will you break my chains?
And my love? Don't let it grow cold in the night.
